I think it’s time to share my story…

On By Barbara StroudIn Photograph, THOUGHTS

After news broke on Friday, regarding the Supreme Court – I want to give you a real life scenario regarding the implications of the SCOTUS decision. #roe I felt it was time to share my story, like so many others – whose lives could be affected. #itsnotwhatyouthink

I’ve been pregnant twice in my life. Once I had a miscarriage before I even knew I was pregnant. My body did what it naturally does when that happens (if you’re “lucky”). The second time I was pregnant with our “Miracle Baby” as the doctors called it, things turned horribly wrong. We went through every test and every doctors appointment prior to becoming pregnant to do everything possible for this little human to arrive healthy, sometimes, all you can do is not enough.
I don’t think some of “these people” realize how common it is for a woman to miscarry. I know I certainly had no idea. Women are so brave – Like the majority of women, I am beside myself with the SCOTUS decision to leave decisions so important to basic life (and death) – to politics. For instance, Governor McMaster – South Carolina – prides himself on making all abortions illegal. Those who have been raped, or cases of incest or LIFE OF THE MOTHER – do not matter. The answer is NO, he says with a smile that makes my skin crawl.

The procedure you undergo when a miscarriage won’t leave your body the way nature intended is a D&C (the same procedure as when they perform an abortion). Everything happened so quickly when we received the news.. which was the day after we flew to MI for a beautiful baby shower that my family had for us. The next morning, I knew something was wrong – went to the ER, they confirmed it. I think my heart broke that day.

The horror of knowing you’re losing a baby, and the fact that you have to read, sign, and wait 24 hours to think about what you’re doing… are you kidding me? (Not to mention the pain, the sadness and the grief that seems endless. (Not to mention a hurricane which we had to evacuate for, but that’s another story). Between that and the anesthesiologist who didn’t give me enough of the “don’t remember” part of the anesthesia – I could hear the nurse yell to “give her more” – I could feel the tears pouring down my face.
Who knew, that I would be one of the lucky ones? One that wouldn’t have to face death because the Governor of my state thinks so little of women and their rights. A D&C procedure/Abortion is healthcare, like it or not. It is what it is. The billions of us who have had to go through it don’t need to give you a reason why, we don’t need 24 hours to “think about it”. Seriously, do you think we have thought about literally ANYTHING else? This is healthcare, pure and simple. To think otherwise is a judgement that will take the lives of many. I cannot imagine how doctors feel – taking an oath to “do no harm” yet having to let women die because of an asinine law based on a political party to feel more control over women? Many of us wanted nothing more than to see our unborn child arrive alive and well. We prayed for that day, had hopes and dreams… Others struggling with decisions on how they could possibly go forward and support a child. Open your minds – think about what’s been done for political reasons. It’s not clear cut. Every situation is different. My situation was so benign compared to what many women are going through. Yet to me, it was the world. I am just so thankful that I am beyond childbearing years. I’m thankful our daughter is in Heaven, where she passed peacefully prior to the procedure. That was my saving grace. Not everyone is as fortunate.

Yes, who knew that I would be one of the lucky ones?

This is my story – I try to write positive posts, feature artists, house plan or recipes that I enjoy to share with you all, to bring a smile. But sometimes I need to let you know my story, especially when it matters so much. The time has come to have compassion for others, to open your mind to what others may have gone through/are going through. This is not a clear cut issue.

If you’ve read this far, thank you for listening. I’m good, I promise! And, I’ll be back to positive posts this week.

🙏 Until next time…

26 thoughts on “I think it’s time to share my story…”

    2. Lori Treder

      Barb thank you for sharing your story. I’m sorry something so painful and private should need to be said but obviously our lawmakers just don’t see the whole picture.

      I love you and my heart breaks when I think of you going through this. You are a strong brave woman.

      Liked by 1 person

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      1. Thank you, Lori. Your comment means a lot. I almost didn’t do it, but then knowing what women will be going through in the future, especially just for medical procedures (not to mention rape/incest) – I just felt I had to share. Many women’s stories are far worse, my story is just part of me. I’m good. It was awful, but I’m a tough cookie 😉

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  3. Heather Locke

    Having known your story I thought of you when Friday’s news was aired. Every story is individual. Bob said to me the other day that one of the hallmarks of conservatism is to see issues as black and white. The individual stories are in every shade of gray. Love to you.

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Thank you, Heather. Many are sharing their stories because people don’t realize that it can be a life saving medical procedure. Bob is so right. The many stories out there are #amillionshadesofgray. Thank you for thinking of me 🥰

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  4. Susan Graeber

    Thank you for sharing ! Politicians need to hear all of our stories !!!! How can our nation be heading backwards in so many ways ….
    Sorry fir your personal loss . I too have had stories ….
    Let’s hope the positive energies and stories will be heard and turn back the decision on birth control .

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  5. Betty smith

    Barbara, i have tears reading this…you are so brave to put this story out there for others to understand how important it is for government to take their hands off such personal decisions…in your case, it was a matter of saving your life…blessings to you and Fred…i know this pain never goes away…much love, Betty

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  7. Marie-Anne Duhem

    When I was very young I believed America was a milk and honey dreamworld, possibilities and opportunities abounding. It took me a long time to realize that this image I had is so wrong. Racism, (gun) violence, no social rights, and now this…
    I am so very sorry for what you went through, can’t imagine the pain you felt.
    Two women (colleagues over the years) confided in me when they went through an abortion. Their struggle to do so was heart wrenching, painful and definitely not made lightly. Personally I am convinced that no man (with the exception of a loving partner, emphasize the loving) should have a right to decide, or make a law for that matter, to deny a woman the right of choice. I am so glad Europe is so advanced on that score.
    As for your little girl, together with many other babies who choose not to be part of our world, here in Belgium we believe she is one of those very bright shining little stars (sterrenkind),

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    1. Marie-Anne, thank you so much for your comment. I agree whole heartedly… I am happy to hear that Europe is advanced. I hate that we are going backwards. Bless you for the last paragraph. I will always remember your comment, you are so wonderful, thank you (I say with tears in my eyes)… 🙏✨❤️ I will be looking for that bright ⭐️

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  8. Sheila

    Oh honey, just picked up iPad to see what I missed………sitting with tears running down my face….such a touching and beautiful story to share your hearbrake with others when the world needs to hear from women brave enough to share their story to help others. 🙏😘

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    1. Thank you dad, I know you will. I know she’s there with family and friends who have ventured on before us. I look forward to seeing her one day. Can’t wait – but in no rush 😉 Love you so much, I’m so thankful to have such wonderful parents and a loving husband. I. Am. Blessed beyond belief!

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  11. Bridget

    I remember the first day in the hospital like it was yesterday. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I love you & wish you peace & comfort by the grace of God.

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Thank you. And thank you so much for your support along the way. I am good. I just pray that others in the same situation will make it through. It’s hard enough without having to think about the legal ramifications. In SC, our Governor has made it effective already. Truly for someone going through what I went through (and there are so many) you can either not get treatment (die) or go to another state. I feel for every woman pregnant or wanting to become pregnant. #thisisnotablack%whiteissue #somanyshadesogrey Thank you. Love you! 😘 #imgood

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  12. I am so sorry this happened to you. You are so brave and compassionate to share your story. There are so many individual situations out there and none need to be ruled by political posturing. We need to set this straight.

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    1. Betty, you are so right! Our governor here in South Carolina was asked specifically about the life of the mother – since many pregnancies end this way. He said he would rather not have any abortions in SC at all. Joe Cunningham (who is running against McMaster) said when he heard that comment. “JAW. DROP.” McMaster’s rational (he said) is that if women aren’t seeking abortions, then there “won’t need to be exceptions”. #wellblesshisheart This absolutely needs to be set straight. He is PRO-LIFE only to an unborn child. Yet, if you’re a woman… there is no pro-life for you… #vetohard @joecunninghamsc Betty, thank you so much for your comment! 🙏

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